


Times square, Freedom and Meatballs

by Neda5555



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Sex, Light Angst, New York City, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 22:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3186305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neda5555/pseuds/Neda5555
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauren’s POV, what goes through your head when everything is a bit too much? “… and you are done for. All the glory that is Time Square, freedom and meatballs is forgotten as you turn around in her embrace and are met with blown pupils and a concerned look from the girl you love.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Times square, Freedom and Meatballs

You aren’t even sure why you’re crying, but apparently you are. Your forehead is resting against the huge window of your forty-sixth floor room in the Millennium- Broadway hotel as you’re looking down at Times square, that even in the ungodly hour of three am is pulsating with people and colors. The tears just seem to keep rolling down your cheeks like it’s nobody’s business and your hands are wrapped securely around your midriff, as if that could help with the treacherous task of keeping yourself together. Outside the temperature is somewhere precariously near the minus area and your body is getting a mix of temperatures - cold from the outside and warmth from inside your room. You feel like you’re standing on top of the world, and as you look down on your bare thighs, clad in only your signature boy shorts, you wish you were all bundled up and standing in the middle of Times Square looking up at all the insane skyscrapers and wonder who the fuck can be important enough to work or live in one of them. You want to go down there and be nobody again, you want to go out there and fuck around with the four girls that have become family to you during the last couple of years, you want to get off the fucking tight schedule you’re on and you want to breathe freely. 

You feel your chest begin to heave and you silently pray that you won’t wake up the beautiful girl sprawled over the mess of sheets and pillows that is your hotel bed. You spare a glance over your shoulder and you’re instantly washed over with a tide of love, appreciation, hope and fear all together from merely the sight of her, and you feel your throat clamp down. You love her so much it scares the shit out of you because loving someone as much as you love her is bound to get you hurt sooner rather than later and shit, that’s petrifying. Just hours ago you were making love to her, worshiping every inch of smooth creamy skin, whispering sweet reassurances into the ears of the delicate and pretty girl she sometimes forgets she is, just hours ago you fucked her into a sex induced coma she didn’t wake up from yet, and now you’re aching for her. You’re aching for her and you’re scared.

You turn back to the window and with a gentle thud your forehead returns to its rightful place against the cold window, and you bite down on your lower lip in hopes to prevent the sob you feel building up inside of you from escaping. You can’t describe how much you want and how much that scares you. You want everything but you want nothing at all. You want everything and nothing from your career, your friends, family and of course; from her. She gives you everything without any hope or agenda, she sees the best of you when all you see is the bad, when all you feel is shame and unworthiness, she makes you better. She picks you up with her even when you’re abundant on dragging her down with you, she is everything good in you and that scares you because you need her.

You need her to remind you how you’re living your dreams and how much music is everything you ever wanted, to remind you how much you’re grateful you get to change people’s lives through your dreams, mainly right now when all you want to do is run away from it all because it’s a bit too much. You need her to remind you how grateful you should be that you were blessed with a second family and above all you need her to remind you how to love yourself, especially on nights like this one. She never gave up on you, even when on multiple occasions that you both went back to Miami and you shut her out completely. You went out with friends, especially boys, and if you are quite honest with yourself you were plainly acting out. You aren’t sure why she took you back once and truly, you’re goddamn flabbergasted she took you back the second time - but that’s the thing about her, she knows you better than you know yourself and she understands and accepts you. She knew that you were scared back then, that her unconditional love and undying patience scared you. When you met back up at the airport in front of the wolfing eyes of your fans, she hugged you so close to her and engulfed you with safety, security and love. As she pulled back from your embrace her big brown and fucking expressive eyes were staring right back at you with openness, love and above all acceptance and you knew she understood. She forgave you for being an asshole but you didn’t forgive yourself because you never really do. You never really feel worthy of her and her acceptance of your bullshit, and you think these feelings are something akin to catholic guilt and that thought alone makes you feel stupid all over again. 

You release the death grip your arms and hands have over your midriff and you place the palms of your hands against the window and look down at Times Square again. Your body is thrumming with want and need that you can’t place, is it an ache to go conquer this marvelous city you visited a dozen times by now but never got to explore? Is it an ache to go down to the Subway right under your hotel and ravish that fucking Footlong Meatball Marinara sandwich you have been drooling and fantasizing about but never got because of your goddamn diet. Or is your whole existence thrumming and throbbing for the girl you love, that on occasions if not always, knows better than you what you need? She sees all of you, for better and for worse and you find yourself on more than one occurrence shying away from her, because she makes you feel naked. She never pushes though, she is like the Lauren whisperer and she lets you run around the metaphoric fields of self-doubt and self-loathing until you can’t stay away from her, she is that constant force standing right in the middle of your mental and emotional mess, and you slowly but surely make your way back to her every time. Every time you let your guard down a little bit more and it’s baby steps but she never gives up on you. 

You are so lost in your own head you don’t even hear when she calls you back to bed, and in an uncharacteristic manner she decides to come to you. You feel her resting her warm-from-sleep cheek between your shoulder blades and you let out a shuddering breath because once again, she is so in tuned with you, that your miserable sate of lost woke her up and drew her in to you. You want to tell her what you’re thinking, what you want and what you need but all that comes out is a whimper when she asks you softly what’s wrong. She is placing a row of small pecks along the nape of your neck and down your right shoulder and suddenly you’re very happy with yourself for throwing on a tank top that covers so little. Her lithe arms wrap around you and her smooth palms are gliding under your tank top over your stomach and you’re thinking this is wrong, this isn’t what you need right now, you want cold air and a sense of freedom, you want that sandwich, you want… And as her fingers ghost over your nipples you forget everything you want other than her.

Your nipples tighten on demand in the wake of her fleeting fingers and you think maybe this is one of those times she knows better than you what you need; maybe you don’t need air after all. As she starts rolling your left nipple between her thumb and index finger you push back into her and you’re immediately overwhelmed by the sensation of her bare thighs against your bare thighs and you are done for. All the glory that is Time Square, freedom and meatballs is forgotten as you turn around in her embrace and are met with blown pupils and a concerned look from the girl you love. She is standing in front of you buck naked and it baffles the fuck out of you that she is so trusting and open with you. You snake your arms around her bare hips and pull her flush against you, in false hope of making you one being, in false hope to disappear inside everything that is Camila Cabello. You skim your hands up the plains and dips of her smooth back until you twist your hands in brown silky locks and you pull her in for a tender kiss. Her hands that are still trapped between your bodies and under your shirt are kneading your breasts gently and your body can’t focus on what sensation to enjoy first.

You close your lips over her bottom one and suck on it gently, she smiles into the kiss and it makes you feel alive because fuck, what is even better than making her happy? She parts her mouth for you and runs her tongue over your upper lip and you don’t wait a millisecond to meet her talented tongue with yours. The kiss is turning sloppy and needy as your tongues lap against one another, and you find you really don’t care as you start backing her up into the bed. She is puffing little puffs of air through her nose against your face and you love her. The back of her knees hit the bed and she flops down unceremoniously on to the bed and looks up at you confused as she leans back on her hands, but all you can see is how open she is at this moment, her chest is rising and falling deliciously, two pert breasts sticking out. And oh god, her fucking legs are parted enough for you to see her glistening with want and you cannot for the life of you fight the moan that escapes your lips.

You’re pushing your panties down your legs and shrugging off your tank top at the speed of light and before she can even catch her breath you settle a knee on each side of her, clutch the back of her neck and crash your lips against hers. You feel nothing short of primal as your teeth clash against hers, tongues swirling around the open space in her mouth and the noises that she is emitting are goddamn addictive. You start kissing her jaw line and down her neck. She pushes up against you and a moan escapes your mouth as you feel her pebble hard nipples against yours and you suck on her neck in a way you know you shouldn’t, somewhere in the back of your mind you’re aware that makeup will be upset with the both of you over the mark you’re leaving on her neck right now but you really, honest to god, don’t give a fuck. While you’re focusing on sucking and nipping the tender skin on her neck, she is palming your ass and trying to pull you down on top of her. You know the minute you give in to her efforts your heat will be meeting hers and you want to wait, so you pull back from her neck and look down at her again. She is scooting away from you and backwards on the bed and her head is resting against the pillows and you breathe out harshly as she spreads her legs as wide as they can go and the cheeky little shit she is – she winks at you.

You want to tell her she’s beautiful and wanted, you want to tell her how sexy she is and that you absolutely love her, you want to thank her for loving you, but instead you crawl over her and rest your body in between her legs. As your wet centers touch you can’t decipher who between the both of you is the one trembling and moaning but it doesn’t really matter. You place your forearms on both sides of her face and place the gentlest of kisses on her nose. She looks perplexed at your change of pace and you let out a puff of air that is somewhere between a laugh and a sigh and you have to tell her, so you do - “I love you”. And a brilliant smile is spreading across her face and you feel like congratulating yourself but her hands are on your ass again and her hips are rolling into yours and the world is forgotten. You find a steady rhythm against her and her wet heat is sliding against yours and you think that these are the feelings that dreams are made of but this isn’t enough, you want her thighs to shudder around you, you want to take her breath away, you want to feel her walls close in on your tongue and you want to taste her as she comes in your mouth.

So you start kissing down her neck, placing soft kisses on her much defined collar bones and you descend down her body and you stop at her breasts because come on, who in their right minds wouldn’t? You kiss, caress and lick the swell of her breast while gently palming the other one and you hear her gasp as you lightly kiss the tip of her nipple. You look up at her and she is looking down at you, eyes hooded and lips swollen and parted and fuck she is beautiful and she is everything. You wrap your lips around her nipple and start lapping and flicking your tongue around it and she is thrashing underneath you. Her hands find the back of your head and you are being held firmly in place as her hips gyrate into your belly and you feel her wetness spread around your abs and it’s all so sensual you have to make it better, so you’re gently biting down on her nipple and a beautiful moan escapes her lips and you’re ready to move on. You give the beautiful breast under your lips a final kiss goodbye and as you kiss down her stomach you’re dipping your tongue in her belly button and her hips are canting in anticipation and you don’t want to keep her waiting.

You kiss the crevice between her hip bone and her leg you are engulfed by everything Camila, the musky scent of her want is filling your nostrils and it makes your head dizzy, that musky essence is everything you want and need at this moment and shit maybe ever. You settle yourself down between her parted legs and take in a huge fucking whiff of her vertiginous smell, and you exhale slowly but deliberately against her wet folds and you are not disappointed by the outcome of your actions as her inner thighs twitch around your face and her hands slam down on the bed near her body. You’re raking your right hand up her right leg, all the way from her ankle and up to her inner thigh and you push her leg open with kisses until her right leg is flat down on the mattress and you waste no time in giving the other leg the same treatment. You lay your right arm across her lower belly and hips bones in order to prevent her from bucking up against you as you slowly run your index finger through her dripping folds. The heat and wetness are coating your fingers as you hear her softly moan and let out breathy ‘fucks’ and sultry ‘baby please’.

You never keep your girl waiting so with two fingers you’re parting her folds and flattening your tongue against her swollen clit and your mind reels as she tries to push up into your mouth and fuck she tastes so good! You start licking her up and down and you find your groove as you let her hips move along with your lapping tongue, and now she is essentially riding your tongue and you feel a flash of white heat shooting straight down in between your legs and you have to fight yourself not to start humping the goddamn bed because shit, that’s embarrassing. Her hands find their way to the back of your head and now she’s guiding you to where she wants you most, you latch your lips around her clit and you are sucking and flicking your tongue against it but you know she needs more. You pull back a bit, lips still on her wetness, and start circling her entrance while you make eye contact with her. She is pushing up into your fingers and if that isn’t an ‘ok go’ you don’t know what is.

You slowly slip one finger into her and she exhales loudly. You are knuckle deep as you start picking up your pace, making sure you curl your fingers on the way out and every time you hit that spot her whole body jolts. You close your eyes and focus on everything that is Camila, your tongue is flicking mercilessly against her clit and your fingering her at a crazy pace and you can’t hold her down any more, you add a second finger to your thrusting and you can feel how tight she is and how deliciously you’re stretching her, and as you feel her start to tremble you release your grip on her hips and intertwine your right hand with the one furiously clutching onto the back of your head. You’re opening your eyes now and looking up at her but she’s long gone at this point. She is mewling and cussing and her breathing is shallow and her inner walls are clamping down on your fingers and her body sores up and she lets out a soft cry that makes you stop all your ministrations and you just stay still, letting her body shake against you, around you, and just like that her body goes rigid and meets the mattress again. You pull out of her softly and place a final kiss to her belly as her grip on your head loosens up. 

She is smiling down at you as you gently lean your forehead against her belly, she is running her fingers through your hair as she tries to catch her breath and suddenly you’re washed with an overwhelming feeling of sadness, pain and love and you’re crying again. You’re such a fucking mess and you’re draping you’re arms around her small figure and you’re sobbing. She is trying to pull you up into her and you oblige, you’re crawling up her body and burrowing your face in to the crook of her neck and she is crushing you against her body, like she is the one trying to make you one being this time around, like she wants to give you all the happiness and reassurance she has within her and make it yours and you’re forever thankful that she is still trying with you even when you make no sense. She is pulling you up to face her and through your tears you can see the worry and pain in her eyes because she wants to help and she wants you to smile and she’s telling you all this and she’s asking what she can do for you.

You’re taking a deep breath and you’re planning on telling her everything. You want to say “never leave me”, you want to say “save me from myself”, you want to tell her “I feel trapped let’s runaway”, you want to tell her “I need a break”. You want to share your fucked up thoughts and insecurities and you want to tell her you’re just fucking tired of it all sometimes. You want to tell her you want air, New York and her. But instead all that happens is you mumbling between the tears “I really want a Footlong Meatball Marinara sandwich “. You let out a exasperated and frustrated huff and if your hands weren’t busy clutching on to her you would be face palming right now. So with a quivering lower lip and furrowed brows you stare at her and she’s staring right back at you. She’s blinking once, twice and then her frown softens and she’s smiling at you like she understands. Your lips twitch upwards because come on, how can you ask for anything more than the beautiful girl under you? You honestly can’t. So as your siting on the top of the stairs in the middle of Times square at four thirty at the freaking am, you devouring that stupid sandwich and moaning with major appreciation at nearly every bite you take, and her dancing up and down the stairs like it’s nobody business, you really can’t ask for more.

She is going all Idina Menzel on your ass as she’s belting out Frozen’s “Let it Go” (including the moves mind you), and your teeth are chattering and you both are very aware of the fact that your phones will start ringing any minute now and you know your life is about to catch up on you any minute now, but for now you don’t care.  
The girl in front of you knows you better than you know yourself, she knows that there is no need to ask you why you were crying over a sandwich because she knows you deal with life in baby steps, and whatever demons you were fighting tonight actually are- you and her will deal with it later, in your own sweet time when you’re ready to deal with life and yourself. 

You’re thinking about Janis Joplin and how freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose, and with all due respect you think she might be wrong. Because as you lie sprawled on those frozen stairs and her head is resting on your happy fucking full stomach, she’s babbling (full on babbling) about all the great things ahead for you guys - you know that freedom comes in many forms and as there is nothing more liberating then the knowledge that whenever you feel trapped, there is a beautiful person right there beside you, waiting to free you from your demons. So as long as you have her you’re free as a fucking bird.

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my blog on Tumblr -http://neda-5555.tumblr.com


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